Of Thoughts and Petunias
by DamnedGuitar
Summary: Jackie's thoughts on her new life and of ... petunias.


_**Of Thoughts and Petunias**_

**Rating**: PG (for now)  
**Pairing**: J/H all the way  
**Summary**: Jackie's thoughts on her new life and … petunias.  
**Disclaimer**: I'm poor and I don't own _That 70's Show_, otherwise I'd be a much richer girl. The characters aren't mine; I'm just taking them out for a spin. So don't sue. All you'll get is the few pennies and some lint I've got in my pocket.  
**Author's Note**: We're just going to make pretend the Season 7 finale didn't happen because it annoyed the hell out of me. Why do the writers always go back to Jackie and Kelso? And a **_huge_** thanks to my beta, Darby, because she made this much better than it was and didn't hold back. I'd have been lost without you, hun.

She used to think she wanted to be with Michael, or at least somebody like him, for the rest of her life.

Somebody who was good looking, who did whatever she told him to do. A guy she could mold into the perfect husband; who would stand there, look pretty, buy her nice things, and make beautiful children she could show off at the country club.

But now she realized how foolish that was of her. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody who didn't have a mind of his own, did whatever she told him, but didn't give a second thought to her feelings until _after_ he had done something wrong?

She wanted a man who would stay with her, who would love her and not leave her, like most everybody she had ever cared about. And she had thought Steven was that man.

He may not have always said nor done the right thing, but his gestures showed he was trying (shaving his beard for her, giving her his favorite Led Zeppelin tee for her birthday). He stood up to their friends for her and to anyone who had tried to hurt her—most of the time.

Steven wasn't the perfect man and she wouldn't have had it any other way. She loved him for being him self, for the way he treated her, cared for her, loved her.

But, in the end, for all his small gestures, and simply acts of kindness all it amounted to was a bunch of hurt. All she needed to hear was if he saw any type of future with her. She wasn't even talking marriage. She just wanted to know if he could stay with her for the long run.

His answer?

"I don't know."

The words hurt worse than when he told her that he had cheated on her. At least then, he was fighting to keep her. At least then, he was fighting for their relationship. At least then, she knew he felt something.

The decision to leave was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, but if she'd learned nothing from being with Hyde, it was 'Leave them before they leave you.', and that's exactly what she did. She left.

And as of right now, she wasn't very happy about it. She had left a place she loved, with her friends all around her, to a new life where her only source of happiness was shopping or ordering new things out of a catalog.

She hated this. She hated her apartment, her job, her lonely bed. She hated that she was becoming a snobby bitch again. She missed her friends. All of them.

Everyone was scattering to the wind, excited about the lives ahead of them, but not Jackie. It seemed like life was never going to be fun or happy for her anymore. Besides a good sale or two, she didn't have much to look forward to. But mostly, she knew for a fact she wouldn't love anybody like she did Steven, so what was the point of even trying to go out and find a new man to be with?

And that's why she was sitting home on a Saturday night, all by herself, watching _Little House on the Prairie_, because it reminded her of simpler times. It reminded her of Steven.

"Ugh!" She sighed in frustration as she got up from the couch and shut off the TV in frustration. Everything reminded her of Hyde.

What now? What wouldn't remind her of home, of her friends, of Steven? Her brow furrowed as she looked around her, trying to find something to distract her. Her face lit up as her eyes settled on the kitchen. Cooking! Lord knows she had never tried that at home. She had always figured, why bother when there was somebody else there to do it for you?

She reached for one of the cookbooks Mrs. Foreman had given her. After surveying the content of her fridge, she decided to try a simple cake. After all, it only looked like she had to throw some stuff into a bowl, mix it, and pour it into a pan. That didn't seem too hard.

About an hour later, Jackie was grunting at the cookbook. Her mix looked nothing like the picture! How the hell had it gotten green? It was supposed to be yellow! As she was about to pour it into the pan and bake it anyway (just to see what would happen), there came a knock at the door.

Jackie looked down at her red flannel pajamas, streaked with flour, wet with milk, and random splotches of the green mix. She looked like a mess. She couldn't let anybody see her like this.

As she tentatively approached the door, she called out.

"Who is it?"

"Delivery, ma'am."

She breathed a sigh of relief; it was just a delivery boy, nobody important. She smiled as the thought that it may be the pretty blue dress she'd ordered last week. To make up for her messy appearance, she put on her most dazzling smile as she opened the door.

The smile quickly turned into a look of confusion as she saw the young, pimple-faced, teenage boy with a bouquet of flowers. Not a box to hold a pretty dress, but a bouquet of simple flowers.

"Miss Jackie Burkhart?"

She eyed him warily before responding.

"Yes."

"These are for you," he said, thrusting the flowers into her face.

She looked down at the bouquet of colorful petunias before turning her gaze to the young boy.

"Don't I have to sign something?"

"No ma'am. But I suggest you read the card. Have a nice day." He smiled at her and started to walk off.

Jackie didn't know what came over her, but before she knew it, her mouth had opened to stop the boy.

"Wait!"

The boy turned around and held out his hand for a tip. Jackie rolled her eyes and shoved his hand away.

"I don't have any money, but I'll give you this tip. Soak a cotton ball in toner and use it every night before you go to bed, after you wash your face. That should help ease up your icky pimples. It's just as effective as those Stridex pads, but it doesn't sting as much."

The young boy smiled at her, confused as to why this woman felt the need to point out his acne and give un-asked for advice.

"Um...thanks?"

Jackie smiled gently at the boy.

"No problem. You're my good deed for the day. Thanks!" And with that, she waved at him and bounced back into her apartment.

Flowers! And they were so pretty, too. She loved petunias. They were simple, beautiful, and they didn't pretend to be what they weren't. She took a moment to bury her face in them. As the pretty scent filled her senses, she felt a sharp jab on her cheek.

The card.

The delivery boy had told her that she should read the card. That seemed a little odd to her; since when did a delivery boy have to tell somebody to read the card along with the flowers. Unless he was afraid she wouldn't notice it? With a shrug, she got down a vase for the flowers, filled it with water and set them prettily on her coffee table.

She plopped down onto the couch, gazing at the flowers with a smile on her face and the card in her hand. Who could have sent her flowers? Today wasn't a special day, as far as she could remember. Maybe it was a secret admirer? Maybe the dorky new guy at work, she thought. What was his name? James? Jack? Something with a 'J'. He liked her, but she didn't think he would know where she lived.

She opened the card and her eyes squinted at it in confusion.

'See you soon.'

"'See you soon'?" she said aloud. "What the hell does that mean? Is that little twerp going to come over here and try something? Because if he is, so help me, I'll give him a good foot up his ass!" she shouted to the empty living room.

A knock on the door halted any further shouting match she was going to have with herself.

**A/N:** Hope you guys liked the first chapter. I'm currently working on the next, but I'm not sure how long it will take. I'm a long-time reader of fanfic, but this is my first real finished story. So please leave me some reviews and tell me what you think. Thanks and keep an eye out for me!


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